When my mom was released from a mental health facility on November 25th it wasn’t known by any of her four sons. While Scott was living with Mom at the time, he didn’t know that she was being taken to a mental health hospital because of her bizarre behavior. Ever since the election in 2020 my mom was convinced that the government was trying to spy on her. The lady who was always speaking of her faith in God was caught in a spiral of thinking that was impossible for anyone to understand. The blur of my own depression overshadowed the news of her passing, and it was filed away in the recesses of my mind. I was a father of five and I had a responsibility to my wife and kids to provide for them. I took the pastor role with the belief that God was going to reignite my passion for Jesus. Over the first 6 months the medicines I was on made it very difficult to experience any real emotions or excitement. I would come into work. Meet with the members that would stop by. Pray regularly for God to awaken my heart, and sleep on the couch inside my office. I reasoned in my heart that my greatest sermon preparation was happening in my house and on the move. I was unfit in this season to pastor, but I pressed through and I made every effort to preach the Gospel.

After about 7 months I had chosen to get off the medications I was given, convinced I wasn’t bipolar, and I chose to get back into shape. Over the next several months I lost 40 pounds, my family and I took a young teenage boy into our house, and I was awakening with anticipation of what the Lord would do that day. The church was also experiencing growth, and I found myself enjoying life for the first time since early 2020. It was during this time that Lisa’s mother came to stay with us for a weekend and nearly died in our home. As I watched a team of EMT’s gather around her and help bring her back to consciousness I was ushered in my mind’s eye to the hotel room where my mom’s body was found a year and a half earlier. “Why wasn’t there anyone to help my mom, Lord?” My heart and mind jumped back into a hyperdrive mode that day as I gathered my boys to me individually and spoke the profound truths of death and life into their minds and hearts.

I was hurting so bad in my heart, but my mind was moving toward hypomania in real time, and I was unable to reason in my heart the need to slow down and step away from the mix. Instead, I walked deeper into my position as a pastor, and I disclosed my past mental health diagnosis with a few of the key leaders at the church. Within a few days I was accosted by one of my staff members who was a part of the search committee. I was told, “You have a demon inside of you for not telling us about your disease from the start.”

What I had was a lot of concealed pain and agony and a chemical imbalance that made it hard for me to judge right from wrong properly. I had refused to take the time I needed to grieve my mother’s death, and I was reeling on the inside. I was convinced of my calling as the pastor and I was convinced that the church would follow me as I led them to reach the community and beyond for Christ.

Such was not the outcome of my role. Within 2 weeks of being accused of having a demon the church was showing me the back door, and I was being relieved of my duty as the lead pastor. The men that orchestrated the vote knew that I couldn’t be there when it was brought before the church, so they fabricated a story to have me removed from the process. In the end the church that we had regained our vision for ministry at walked us out and fired us. Were it not for a faithful couple stepping into our story and agreeing to pay my full salary for the next six months I am not quite sure what we would have done.

It was exactly six months to the date when Third Baptist Church invited us to come on staff as the Discipleship Pastor. I served in that role for 6 months and then was asked to become the Executive Pastor. I served as the Executive Pastor for nearly a year before I shared my mental health story with one of my fellow executive members. Within 10 days of receiving a $20,000 raise I was fired without cause. No leave of absence. No explanation of the decision. Fired for the third time in 4 years.